Sigh.

Why is it that whenever someone pushes me away/I feel like someone is, I'll be extremely down like something has just shot me to the ground. Why? We're just mutual friends, nothing more than that. But I had to feel this way. It happens everytime. I HATE IT. I feel insecure. I feel fragile inside. I feel vulnerable. I feel........hopeless.

Sincerely, your crush.

I like you. I don't want to be in a relationship with you right now bcos I don't want to break your heart. I don't wish to see such things happen. But I want you. You are the one. I have a crush on you for like 2 years? THAT IS NO LONGER A CRUSH. I REALLY LOVE YOU. Only Allah knows my sincere intentions. You said that your heart is stolen by someone, you are waiting for that someone. I have a feeling that 99.99% that "someone" you are talking about is me. You are my type of girl, the type that really turns me on. I go for cute girls and not pretty girls. That cute girl is YOU. I wish that you know all these while, my tweets are ALL FOR YOU. I'm giving you hints. I tried to love another girl before, but I just can't seem to. My mind kept thinking about you, only you. Your smile, your attitude, your cute face EVERYTHING SINGLE cell of you, I'm in love with. I hope you'll realize this one day. Ya Allah, please make her strong, make her wait, increase her patience level. I wanna be your husband one day. Insya'Allah.

You are the one

I'm still uncertain of your feelings towards me. I'm not even sure whether you are referring to me or someone else. But something, deep inside of me is telling me that you are discreetly shouting my name in your heart. I have ever felt this certain of someone's feelings towards me before. I read your tweets, if its true you are referring to me, your love is pure and loyal. If everything I assumed is true, and we got into a relationship, I just hope that it will last till the day you become my lawful wedded wife. Amin insya'Allah. Ya Allah I really need your help. I need to be a better man/person/muslim first before guiding someone else. I must. Ya Allah ya pendengar, kau dengarkan lah rintihan hamba mu ini ya Allah. Aku perlukan petunjukmu.

Choices

I feel pity for you. I know I'm like giving you hopes on me. I am. Its just that I'm not ready to commit. Should I? But I have a national exam ahead of me. I dont know what to do. I feel like bringing you out on a date and explaining things clearly to you but, do I have the courage to do so? Still uncertain. For this year, as a retain student its either I date you or my books. Which is much more important, you or my grades? Honestly I dont know. I'm trying to balance both of you. But I doubt that I could. Ya Allah... I need help.

Knockout

Went to the library with Julia today after so long. Hahaha. I completed my Maths homework! Yay! Hmm we both complained that we got headaches. Hence, we went seperate ways once we  reached jp. I bought a 2 litre orange juice bottle and a tin chips to pamper myself. Anyway, I told myself that I'm gonna nap when I arrived home. BUT I went into a deep sleep instead. So here I am, just woke up from my 10 HR SLEEP. WOW. I feel so great! :D

Where have you been..

Where did you go? Its only been one day and I already missed talking to you. Sigh. Im so sorry for not listening to you. I shouldve come to school so that we could delightfully see each other. I wasnt feeling well that day. Ya Allah if I unintentionally did upset you, Im truly sorry. Dear Allah, I hope you will send my misses to her. Please come back. :'(

Hidden truth

I dont know whats your problem. I dont get whats your motive. Why are you even bringing me down? I've been PATIENT WITH YOU. And I still am. I just dont enjoy prolonging a fight. Its always ME who has to apologize when Im not in the wrong. WHY WHY. I still remembered you haul your fist onto my face TWICE. I did not retaliate. I stay cooled. Only giving you that vengeful stare in return. Im not sure if I can hold on much longer. I just hope we wont be in the same school in the future. You make look all innocent but deep inside youre just like a crocodile who have not been eating for years waiting for the right moment to attack your prey. You keep sulking whenever I dont include you when I go out bcos I just dont go out with you OKAY. YOU chose to live your social-less life, not mixing with others and YOU BLAME ME for all of your OWN DOINGS. FUCK YOU. Just 5 months to go and I hope I WILL NEVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN.